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Ordinary Terror

by lowercase roses

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1.
All that I failed to begin Lifts away on summer wind Only now, only this Unravel every fist Under a million suns Under a million moons We never left the room Let it go It’s not the time for you There’s plenty more to do We can’t know Just keep yourself alive Stay ready to survive When all else fails us all Fell from heights miles above the earth Children now for all we’re worth And the blood it drops And the wretched hands Burn the future where it stands We led ourselves into an open jaw We wouldn’t see what we saw
2.
You, the age of 9, stood still While they pretended they were free It struck you sudden and severe The moment’s maw The present’s pang We are but little rivers with little gravities Set to vastness Sent to god The smell of centuries of sand We’ve razed the garden, razed it all California everywhere Fall in love after the cataclysms start Tuck your head between your knees and sell your art Your feet look dry so far Golden frontiers in your father’s mind Cops and cowboy hand-me-downs Not roots but blood and blood This was not a place of ours to waste
3.
Give 04:15
Out of thin air Gave some to a breath to measure, measuring me Gave some to the paper chasing us off of the scene Gave some to the heretofore and compositions of trees Gave some to the sound of here on 17th, the Rorschach blot I’m underneath Out of the clear blue Gave some to the perfect pitch rustled under my feet Gave some to your life, of which I’ve made myself unaware Gave some to a burned out book without its ending to read Gave some to the sound your hear when you hear me A dozen plots I’m caught between Inside he sleeps every night The light of the sitcom strobes the wall Laughter canned and scenery set He dreams the sound of clouds made by the crew Inside he sleeps every night Til light from the window lifts his eyes
4.
Invisible angel, indivisible me Congregation tracing lines Distant words in distant minds I stood, unmoved, in a younger image of myself All at once the children show And I was switching all my clothes To have faith in magic, faith in diamonds in the sky Everything changes, let me change You could be honest with yourself and let me go Everything changes, let me change I could be honest with myself and let you go It’s time Confrontations taking time Just give me back my peace of mind I thought I’d found a decent one But it was just a dream Now when I sing, I sing for free I once was yours but now I’m me How much could I give to you and still save myself Invisible angel, individual me
5.
Custodians 04:03
It took ten of your songs to walk me back home Out of center city into rooms all alone A bell sounded then, can’t be unrung And I am the ghost of all that I’ve done Here I am Frozen at the end The end is here when you forfeit every day To custodians of fear The sun across the moon Are we angry or sad And will we say thank you as they sell it all back to us
6.
Marigold was born in July In the summer of god and ideals Her mama was healthy and cried out in joy The colors kept in heaven were revealed Marigold sang me true love Even before she could speak She wrapped her little arms around this lonesome guitar The one that my father gave me Two years later came Moon So constant, so bright up in our skies She guided us through every ocean Into the clearest, calmest waters of our minds Moonie would grow to adore Those relics of defiance that I spat She says ‘fuck the police and every chain in this machine’ There exists no prouder a dad Marigold & Moon shone through Marigold & Moon I love you two Just as the autumn fells the leaves So I went the way of my old man His heart took him from me and left my own empty Untili that morning, brilliant, in July Marigold & Moon you’re my life I know you’ll sing your songs like I can hear Your mama, she loves you She’ll take good care of you Unfasten one another from all fear
7.
I wanna read your mind and body (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna raise my hand and speak (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna taste the blood of lessers (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna feast upon the weak (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna share with you a story (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna pin you to the wall (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna love you in the daylight (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna hate you in the dark (green light in the echo chamber) I came here to show all my proof I’ll move my feet when you follow me I wanna blend into the water (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna hear the rushing wave (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna carve the land with pressure (green light in the echo chamber) I wanna feel the mass take shape (green light in the echo chamber)
8.
Salt the Sea 03:25
Show me the world put perfectly Tell me what’s good, I’ll drown in speech I cried enough to salt the sea Heaven took my heart away Fuck it all up, it sounded free When no one’s around, I fall to sleep Merrily, life is but a dream Heaven took my heart away It’s true Never and forever mean the same thing now
9.
Meet the new war Just like the old war I had the strangest thought today Decades, thrashing, hide Inside flesh, the flesh inside How’d you get that deep sea color in your eye They put a new coat down To keep at bay what’s underground One echo to another As if someday I will not have done what I did As if someone else’s voice could fall from my lips It invents recompense Meet the new smile Just like the old smile, by and by One hand to clean the other
10.
Apples 02:57
Rolling around the turning lane Suffering fools, running in place Would you believe it’s all a game Not to be naive, but I’ll save a space I couldn’t cushion the fall for you I couldn’t help it but fall for you and your gloom and your doom Another round for goodness sake Would you believe in yesterday Holding our hands in outer space Gravity kills without a trace

about

all songs written & performed by Matt Scheuermann
mixed by Matt Schimelfenig @ the Bunk
mastered by Heather Jones @ So Big Auditory
additional vocals on 'Green Light in the Echo Chamber' by Augusta Koch & Matt Schimelfenig
art by Matt Scheuermann with assistance from Russell Edling

credits

released December 9, 2022

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lowercase roses Philadelphia, Pennsylvania

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